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29 September 2010 @ 12:23 am
Are you guys sick of Pike yet?  
If not I have another bookfail for you.

Thirst No. 1: The Last Vampire, Black Blood, Red Dice

If you recall from the "The Secret of Kaka" debacle a few posts back, one the members of journalfen's unfunny_fandom community, atdrake (thanks, dude!) discovered and screencapped this gem:

okay, if you're done laughing, we can continue.

Unfortunately (for us, fortunately for the book-loving world) the above as well as all the other Christopher Pike reviews written by all three Pike-Puppets have now been removed except for the "Secret of Kaka" ones.

As I was reading through the rest of the reviews I stumbled onto this one written by yet another woman who questions Pike's racial expertise (Namely that she had a hard time believing that a person described as looking like the Norwegian looking supermodel on the cover could possibly be an Indian from 3000 BC):

By Karyn L "avid book reader"
This review is from: Thirst No. 1: The Last Vampire, Black Blood, Red Dice (Paperback)
I had to suspend disbelief a couple of times in reading this book. First was accepting a blond and blue eyed vampire whose place of origin is India. Second was the same character, described early on as 5000 years old, impossibly rich, massively intelligent, and super strong falling in love with your average American teenager. Even so, the book did keep me interested enough to finish. Being a lover of all things mythology, the author peaked my interest when he decided to include some eastern Indian mythology into the book. Altogether an enjoyable read, not the best I've read certainly but I don't regret purchasing it.

Christopher Pike's Imaginary Editor Michael Brite rushes to reply:

Initial post: Nov. 7, 2009 3:08 AM PST
Michael Brite says:
It says clearly in the book that Sita was an Aryan, a well known group who invaded India five thousand years ago. They were all blond and blue-eyed. The reason I call them well known is for two reasons. Hitler was obsessed with Aryan blood and considered the ideal German to be blond and blue-eyed. Also, it is an established fact the Aryans brought the Vedas to India, which later led to the creation of the Hindu religion. However, the Vedas themselves were not religious texts, but the cognitions of enlightened men and women.

DOOOOD! The Hitler Aryans and the India Aryans are NOT THE SAME PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!11oneoneone!!

I can't even... here's a wikipedia link. just... wow...

Also, not that I pretend to know anything about Indian history but a brief search of "Aryans invade India" shows me that this is only a theory at best.


So yeah, in conclusion, Christopher Pike, YOU SUCK.

also, plzz stop calling me "crazy chick" or i might have to start calling you "Stupid asshole"
i_hate_music: batgirli_hate_music on September 29th, 2010 07:40 am (UTC)
Big fucking LOL.

I also love the end of his own review. "It changed my life forever". Eh, yeah.
lied_ohne_worte: chesslied_ohne_worte on September 29th, 2010 09:27 am (UTC)
Good grief. He's so incredibly transparent, you have to pity the poor man. Lashing out like that at a reviewer whose review is actually positive, but contains criticism? Pathetic.

And the Aryan thing, I can't even say. The mere fact that he gives credence to Hitler's theories... I bet he would also say that modern-day Germans are in fact mostly blond and blue-eyed. People with his level of knowledge usually believe that.
themadpokerthemadpoker on September 29th, 2010 11:27 am (UTC)
...WHAT. I've been taking a religious class for two weeks and I can see the holes in that statement. And yeah, the Aryans he's talking about are not the same ones. -facepalm- So glad I never got into his writing as a kid, I'd probably be having a crisis of childhood love destryal if I had.
Grand High Supreme and Mighty Empress Connieconuly on September 29th, 2010 12:52 pm (UTC)
I wonder if that new review is up at unfunny_fandom yet.
psychedeliceyes on September 29th, 2010 04:45 pm (UTC)
LOLOL I'm so glad I never really liked Pike's books to begin with. You don't how devastated I would be if an author I admired was acting this way.
★Kristy★heartbreak_beat on September 29th, 2010 04:47 pm (UTC)
Good grief. I really need to start a "Don't read these authors because they're douchebags and idiots" list.

BTW, your original entry is featured on the blog "Dear Author": http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2010/09/28/tuesday-midday-links-its-banned-book-week-october-new-releases/
I need more fandoms like CKR needs more sexylove_jackianto on October 7th, 2010 04:41 pm (UTC)
Same here. I get the feeling it will be a very long list.
Lu: 09vox_mortem on September 29th, 2010 07:09 pm (UTC)
Now I don't have to feel bad about hating The Last Vampire. What a joke.
(Deleted comment)
bs_08bs_08 on September 29th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
That's just lame. We have proof that Michael Sparks claims to be Pike in at least two posts in two different threads in the past. We have proof that the Chris guy is involved with the fanclubs, we have proof that the other dude is the illustrator. What proof do they have that any of the people who came to support me (and i am very grateful for them) are me? From what i see, most of those accounts have been active for a long time and have many other reviews. did i create all those accounts just to design this one perfect moment where i could destroy pike's reputation? let's take it one step further, maybe i'm Michael Sparks and the other two or four dudes who came to fight as well.

all of this bullshit is distracting from the original point, the fact that pike did not do the research and wrote a very inaccurate book.

i wonder how much further this is going to go and what kind of conclusion they are looking for?
(no subject) - conuly on September 29th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bs_08 on September 29th, 2010 09:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - bs_08 on September 30th, 2010 01:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
Direst Ryl: DTPryl on September 29th, 2010 10:04 pm (UTC)
Now I know why Pike doesn't have time to fully research the cultures he writes about. He's too busy fighting intarwebz warz.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - ryl on September 30th, 2010 01:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cyranothe2nd on October 1st, 2010 05:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
Gwenyveregwenyvere4 on September 30th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
You would think he would be ashamed of himself, both for writing woefully unresearched crap AND for his general asshattery on the internet. If he spent even a fraction of the time he's spent on all his reviews and harassing of you on RESEARCH, he might write a decent book.
Mattie: You Suckadriennearedore on September 30th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC)
I "love" how he uses the term "Hindu religion". It reminds me how my old catholic religion teacher used to call Islam "the Muslim religion," almost as though it weren't real.

What a tool.
Youjiyoujik33 on September 30th, 2010 07:24 am (UTC)
...um, I actually don't understand this one. I hear people say "the Christian religion" too. Seems a tad redundant, I suppose, but that's not such a crime.
#34: DK - Algebragear_34 on September 30th, 2010 01:57 am (UTC)
You're a hero for speaking up like this! Seriously, this guy is so past any semblance of talent, it's insulting to all aspiring writers out there that he can even *get* published.

(Also, does that cover picture have parts of Anna Paquin spliced into it?)
some blockheaded bracegirdle from hardbottle: misc - wildflowers in a glassnotemily on September 30th, 2010 08:43 pm (UTC)
I always thought the "Thirst" cover model looked like Avril Lavigne.
(no subject) - everstar3 on September 30th, 2010 08:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
picture is unrelated - notemily on October 1st, 2010 03:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: picture is unrelated - psychedeliceyes on October 1st, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
blesséd lunatic: valkyrieemerald_griffin on September 30th, 2010 04:18 am (UTC)
Huh. Wow. And here I thought Hitler's version of Aryans was pretty much totally made up. Guess I was wrong.

Oh, wait...

Not to mention, way to use a totally outdated term, as far as academics goes. Though I thought the current one for that the group that comprised that particular wave of migration into Europe and northern India was Indo-European?
blesséd lunaticemerald_griffin on September 30th, 2010 05:01 am (UTC)
And by "that particular wave of migration" I mean, a truly ENORMOUS group in a migration over a very, very long period of time. And the grouping is based on language groupings and achaeogenetics, so, lots of different groups and languages and cultures and average physiologies which in some time that was waaaay ancestral by the Bronze Age may have shared a common language and lived in the same sort of area.

Saying that this group had a homogeneous morphology is hilarious. I mean the parent group, the 'Proto-Indo-Europeans' probably lived in the Copper Age, and the wikipedia article on them feels the need to specify that yes, they had knowledge of The Wheel.

Also, I believe the earliest traces of the Indic branches of that language group date to around the 15th century BC.

Though, I also feel the need to say this: as a scientist, it's a HUGE pet peeve of mine when people say 'just a theory' or something similar when they're talking about something in the sciences. A scientific theory is totally different from a colloquial theory - in science, evolution is referred to as a theory, hell, GRAVITY is referred to as a theory, though no one ever suggests that the idea that if you throw something off of a roof it will fall to earth instead of hovering is mere speculation.

In science, you (should) always be testing to try and disprove your hypotheses, and by that, a hypothesis is not considered to be well constructed if it's impossible to come up with an experiment that would show it to be false if a certain result came up.

Also, I'm a bit wary of the second to last link you posted - if you look at where the quotes are coming from, and look at the footnotes, you'll see that there's a lot of 'quote this' and then make an unsupported statement that this quote was used in such-and-such a way, in order to prove such-and-such. I do wish they had quoted more writings where scholars (so-called or otherwise) had used those quotes in the ways the website says they did.

I mean, everyone's studying and writing in the context of their own experiences and opinions, so you have to be careful even when you're reading scientific papers from peer-reviewed journals, because the writing's always going to have some sort of a spin on it, seeing as it was written by humans who have feelings and political ideas and whatnot. Especially in things like archaeology and anthropology, you get taught to always, *always* consider someone's research and writings in the context of who they were and what they were trying to do - that is, why they were doing this research, besides for the scientific thrill.

Right, um, your friendly neighborhood scientist, signing out...
(no subject) - bs_08 on September 30th, 2010 09:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emerald_griffin on September 30th, 2010 12:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - pandarus on September 30th, 2010 11:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lady_fellshot: hamster shredderlady_fellshot on September 30th, 2010 05:40 am (UTC)
O_o I can only assume that such a level of willful ignorance has to be a chore in these days of "Wikipedia to the rescue!" If he writes something in the historical setting of my area, I may have to go stomp on him. With great justice. And a spoon.
Allie: DumbleSTFUcyranothe2nd on October 1st, 2010 05:49 am (UTC)
Methinks I am seeing a trend...white Indians, Aryans, Arabs=Turks. Perhaps Pike is just a great big racist shitbag???